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〃The Austrians are Christians……except for the Bosnians。〃
〃I dont mean technically Christian。 I mean like Our Lord。〃
He said nothing。
〃We are all gentler now because we are beaten。 How would Our Lord have been if Peter had rescued him in the Garden?〃
〃He would have been just the same。〃
〃I dont think so;〃 I said。
〃You discourage me;〃 he said。 〃I believe and I pray that something will happen。 I have felt it very close。〃
〃Something may happen;〃 I said。 〃But it will happen only to us。 If they felt the way we do; it would be all right。 But they have beaten us。 They feel another way。〃
〃Many of the soldiers have always felt this way。 It is not because they were beaten。〃
〃They were beaten to start with。 They were beaten when they took them from their farms and put them in the army。 That is why the peasant has wisdom; because he is defeated from the start。 Put him in power and see how wise he is。〃
He did not say anything。 He was thinking。
〃Now I am depressed myself;〃 I said。 〃Thats why I never think about these things。 I never think and yet when I begin to talk I say the things I have found out in my mind without thinking。〃
〃I had hoped for something。〃
〃Defeat?〃
〃No。 Something more。〃
〃There isnt anything more。 Except victory。 It may be worse。〃
〃I hoped for a long time for victory。〃
〃Me too。〃
〃Now I dont know。〃
〃It has to be one or the other。〃
〃I dont believe in victory any more。〃
〃I dont。 But I dont believe in defeat。 Though it may be better。〃
〃What do you believe in?〃
〃In sleep;〃 I said。 He stood up。
〃I am very sorry to have stayed so long。 But I like so to talk with you。〃
〃It is very nice to talk again。 I said that about sleeping; meaning nothing。〃
We stood up and shook hands in the dark。
〃I sleep at 307 now;〃 he said。
〃I go out on post early to…morrow。〃
〃Ill see you when you e hack。〃
〃Well have a walk and talk together。〃 I walked with him to the door。
〃Dont go down;〃 he said。 〃It is very nice that you are back。 Though not so nice for you。〃 He put his hand on my shoulder。
〃Its all right for me;〃 I said。 〃Good…night。〃
〃Good…night。 Ciaou!〃
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